Posts Tagged corporate humor

502 — Bullshit Bingo

Author, Anonymous, circa 2000?
(I put this article on the website for your entertainment and enlightenment. This is not a real suggestion.)

Sometimes topical or fashionable words block real communication.

Do you keep falling asleep in staff meetings? What about those long and boring conference calls?

Here’s a way to change all of that:

1. Before (or during) your next meeting, seminar, or conference call, prepare your “Bullshit Bingo” card by drawing a square — I find that 5″ x 5″ is a good size — and dividing it into columns — five across and five down. That will give you 25 1-inch blocks.

2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block (or include other fashionable but fuzzy words used in your company):

    •  Game changer
    •  Disruptive technology
    •  Bilateral
    •  Bandwidth
    •  Transparency
    •  Strategic fit
    •  Core competencies
    •  Out of the box
    •  Bottom line
    •  Revisit
    •  Take that off-line
    •  24/7
    •  Out of the loop
    •  Benchmark
    •  Value-added
    •  Thought leader
    •  Proactive
    •  Win-win
    •  Fast track
    •  Result-driven
    •  Empower (or empowerment)
    •  Knowledge base
    •  At the end of the day
    •  Touch base
    •  Mindset
    •  Client focus(ed)
    •  Ballpark
    •  Game plan
    •  Leverage
    •  Cascade
    •  Sequential or sequentially
    •  Multiple times

 

3. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases.

4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up and shout “BULLSHIT!”

Testimonials from satisfied “Bullshit Bingo” players:

“I had been in the meeting for only five minutes when I won.”
— Jack W., Boston

“My attention span at meetings has improved dramatically.”
— David D., Florida

“What a gas! Meetings will never be the same for me after my first win.”
— Bill R., New York City

“The atmosphere was tense in the last process meeting as 14 of us waited for the fifth box.”
— Ben G., Denver

“The speaker was stunned as eight of us screamed “BULLSHIT!” for the third time in two hours.”
— Harry A, Chantilly

“Thanks Bingo creator for thinking outside the box and proactively creating this value-added knowledge base that is a strategic fit with my core competencies and current client focused mindset. I can leverage our existing process and exploit the inherent synergies to expand the knowledge base to cater to our result driven team members who will work 24/7 to put it on a fast-track. This cascading game-plan is what I call a truly win-win situation, a disruptive game changer.”
— Swami S, Sunnyvale, CA

cc 502 – © Barry Phegan, Ph.D.

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